My 2 Cent Take on Serious Sam: The First Encounter

I bought SS:TFE sometime in 2002 for ten bucks at CompUSA. I figured at that price I wouldn't be losing much even if the game turned out to be a dog. I had read the reviews, and impressed as I was with them, I wanted to decide for myself. So in early 2003, when I finally got some spare time and the opportunity, I installed the game and fired it up. With its eye candy, ancient Egyptian theme, responsive game engine, and .... how should I put this ..... somewhat unique style of gameplay, I was immediately drawn into the game. Sadly, over the course of the year I had a dwindling reserve of spare time for entertainment, and SS:TFE languished on my hard drive.

Then around the Christmas holidays things began looking up, and I got back into the game. In mid-February 2004, over a year after I first began playing it, I finally beamed aboard the space ship with a special delivery for Mental, that arch-fiend whose primary function in this universe appears to be to make my life miserable and to assimilate all life on this Third Rock from the Sun. In that order. But, from the look of bewilderment on your face, gentle reader, I see I am getting ahead of myself. Would you like me to break down my narrative into easy-to-swallow chunks? Kind of like Kibbles & Bits? Your wish is my command.

An Ancient Tale of Good vs. Evil ..... Sort of. If I was looking for a story-line in which I could immerse myself, like the lady in the commercials who is transported to another place every time she steps into a bath full of Calgon, I was in for a rude shock. Fortunately, the reviews I'd read had prepared me for the paper-thin plot -- an ancient evil, intent on the annhilation of human civilization, is close to achieving its objective. Serious Sam is sent back in time to ancient Egypt to find a way to stop the future invasion. Anyhow, whoever let a clichéd and over-used plot come in the way of enjoying a good old-fashioned blast-fest, eh? The story, or lack thereof, did nothing to diminish my experience as the good Sam "Serious" Stone.

A Sight for Sore Eyes. The graphics in SS:TFE are undoubtedly among the show-stealing attributes of the game. Beautifully rendered skies range from twilight over dusty mountains to a harsh sun blazing out of a brilliant blue sky, and from a starlit night over sand dunes to a rare rain storm in the desert. The artwork on the walls of the monolithic structures tells of a once-glorious empire, and lends an authenticity to the environments through which I made my passage. Emblems and hieroglyphics abound, silently speaking of a complex culture and society. Crystalline blue water invited me to dive in and wash the sweat off. Even some of the more forbidding areas begged to be explored. All in all I would not hesitate to use the word "stunning" when describing the visuals of the game.

The architecture and decorations are impressive too. Massive statues of Anubis, Horus, Osiris, and other deities adorn courtyards with sparkling fountains, or guard the gates to temples and palaces. From stately marble Obelisks to granite columns supporting ornate roofs to the gigantic pyramids, the structures in SS:TFE are incredibly life-like and believable. I was often tempted to walk through the levels just admiring the environments.

Yea! Though I Walk Through the Shadow .... In addition to the architecture, the game's use of light and shadows provides another layer of realism. Sunlight, and even moonlight and starlight in some levels, splash down on the landscape and structures, casting the appropriate amounts of darkness in recesses and nooks and crannies. In the Alley of the Sphinxes you play at dusk, when the shadows have lengthened, and there is a reddish pall that hangs over the land. While the outdoors are often bright, the insides of buildings are gloomy and lit by flickering torches. Although the gameplay is not designed to inspire fear of this sort, areas can be quite spooky in appearance.

Of Pests and Pest Control. There is a nice variety of enemies in the game, and range from humanoid to robotic to other-worldly. For the most part the baddies that were hurled at me were manageable, particularly when their numbers were not overwhelming and when I had room to maneuver. Often, however, I found myself in almost impossible situations. But more about that later. The enemies are generally fun to mow down -- the significance of that phrase will become evident once you pick up the last weapon of the game. However, most enemies of any importance move faster (and in some cases much faster) than the player. This typically means that at best you will take some damage, and at the worst you'll find yourself being scraped off the ground. Oh, wait. The enemies do not show you that courtesy and consideration. They just leave you there to be trampled by all and sundry. Or to be picked off, piece by tiny piece, by the notorious Death Watch Beetles of the desert.

The arsenal at my disposal was more than adequate to handle the bestiary that prowls the grounds of Karnak, Luxor, and other areas of ancient Egypt. Where it got interesting was when I didn't have enough of the right kind of ammo for the situation. My only choice was to improvise while being quick on my feet and light on my trigger. Thankfully I could fall back on my twin 45-caliber Schofields, with their unlimited ammo supply. With the right kind of cover these babies could even bring down some of the more serious denizens of that world. Of course, with each new weapon I picked up I would be introduced to a new enemy and a new way to be handed my guts to me on a platter.

It's All Fun and Games Until Somebody Gets Hurt. Gameplay in SS:TFE distinguishes the game from most other first-person shooters of the period. "In your face!" was the phrase that sprang to mind when I started playing, and I quickly realized that the word "subtlety" is most definitely not in Croteam's vocabulary. (Croteam is the group that created the game.) From the beginning I was assailed by legions of enemies, sometimes all of the same breed, at other times several species thrown into the fray. The mode of assault gives new meaning to the word hordes. Or swarms. Or waves. Or frenzied. Or relentless.

It's pulse-pounding, silent snarling, spitting and cursing gameplay at its best. Or worst, depending on your perspective. For the most part I enjoyed the fights, although they tended to get repetitive after a while. The typical scenario is to give the player a goodly assortment of ammo, a reasonable amount of health, and a modest amount of armor. Then lock the doors and, in the words of the Roman General Maximus prior to the battle at Germania, "unleash Hell". Once the initial wave of enemies has been vanquished, additional ammo, health, and (occasionally) armor spawn, as do a fresh crop of enemies. And so on until my wrist was sore from clenching on the keyboard and my neck was tense from dodging imaginary projectiles.

My backtracking and circle strafing skills were tested to their limits, as were my reflexes. And, in many instances, particularly in the last level, my patience. I played the game on "Normal" skill, which is recommended for experienced players of FPS games. Considering that I've been playing such games since 1994 I naturally thought I was seasoned enough to take on another shooter. But there were times that I was reloading saved games like I was popping peanuts into my mouth at a beer party. In the first arena in the final level (The Great Pyramid), I must have reloaded from a saved game at least one hundred times. In the next area, with Ugh-Zan III the mighty Warlock threatening to grind me into the dust like a dung beetle, and hordes (there's that word again) of werebulls and bio-mechs advancing on me like I was a piñata at a birthday celebration, I must have reloaded from a saved game another fifty times. Then finally, in the "electrocution chamber", alone with Ugh-Zan, I must have reloaded another twenty-five times. I play a game for many reasons, and I don't know about you, but getting frustrated isn't one of them. All I can say is "Thank Providence for the SaveGame feature".

So, in the final analysis would I recommend this game? Or better yet, play it again? In a nutshell: "Hell, yes!" As a matter of fact I plan to play it again real soon. Only, this time I will probably play it at a lower skill level. What can I say? I'm a wimp. And I'll shove my twin Schofields down your throat if you disagree!

UPDATE: I'm back in the saddle, and having cleared my way through the Metropolis, I stand in the Alley of the Sphinxes. That's almost two-thirds of the way through the game. Okay, so I lied when I said I would play it at the Easy skill level. As a matter of fact I did start it on Easy, but I breezed through the Hatshepsut Temple and Sand Canyon levels. So I started over on Normal. Thus far things have been manageable, although the army of Kleer Skeletons in the Metropolis made me seriously question my decision to play through the game again (just kidding). I fully expect that I'll question my decision again when I play the final level, The Great Pyramid. Ah, well, I guess I'm just a sucker for punishment.

Update to UPDATE: Can you say carpal tunnel syndrome, boys and girls? After completing the final level I feel like my wrist has been put through a wringer. Still, I must say that this time around the game was considerably easier than the first time I played it. (Which is to be expected, given that I was a lot more familiar with the situations, traps, and enemies the second time around.) I managed to complete the final level with just a handful of saved-game reloads, and the rest of the levels were similarly manageable. All in the space of a couple of weeks. And now I suppose it's time to move on. I have nearly a dozen games that are sitting on my shelf unopened and unwrapped. So to you, Sam 'Serious' Stone I say: Here's looking at you, kid.